We all expect the parents of a newborn to be happy and not abuse their children. We assume parents will form a healthy bond with their children. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. Some parents have difficulty bonding due to traumatic experiences and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). Some parents just seem to fail despite telling themselves, “I want something better for my child” or “I don’t want my child to experience what I experienced as a child”. We are always quick to judge these parents because we don’t know their stories. Some deep and suppressed issues must be addressed before these parents can begin to do what they have been naturally gifted to do as parents.
Selma Fraiberg, the author of Ghosts in the Nursery was a social worker and a psychoanalyst. She handled thousands of child-abuse cases. Based on studies conducted by Fraiberg’s team, she proposed that the traumatic experiences of parents and inter-generational trauma find their way into the nursery (Read the article by downloading the PDF document on this website). The nursery is described as the place of security for the child. Where the child is nurtured and assured of safety. The Nursery is our relationship with our children. Sadly, trauma may show up uninvited like ghosts to interfere with parent-child relationship and continue the cycle of inter-generational trauma.
So, are there ghosts in your nursery? how can you get rid of them or prevent them for taking over your nursery? Find out and safely reflect in these perinatal classes designed to emotionally prepare you for parenthood.
Reference: Fraiberg, S.H., Adelson, E., & Shapiro, V. (1975) Ghosts in the nursery:A psychoanalytic approach to the problem of infant/ mother relationships. Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry, 14 (3), pp. 386-422.